what a W I C K E D game to play -- open

[risa]

WHAT A WICKED THING TO DO
(to let me dream of you)

If you were a normal kid, or person in general, you wouldn't be walking around in the ally ways. Hell, you wouldn't even be living in Rogue city, if you were truly normal. Okay, maybe if you were an adult you could get around all the shit that happened around here, though there were also some pretty screwed up adults around here. But think of the kids, for heavens sake. Jesus Christ, how many insane kids lived in this fucking city?! Dakota wouldn't make a scene out of it, as he was one of those insane kids, but there lived so many fucked up kids around here. It was insane, what the hell were their parents thinking?! Hell, just living near this freaking city was dangerous, Dakota was a living example to that. He hadn't lived in Rogue, but on a farm not far from there, and he had managed to get totally fucked up.

Anyway, talking about the ally ways before sidetracking; yeah well, good kids would never get near here, and don't be fooled; there sure were some smart people around here, most of them adults sure but there were also a lot of kids, and they weren't involved in any of the gang-stuff; meaning, drugs, sex, whoring, mosh pits, randomly getting into gang fights, and worst of all.. Killing. Ah yes. Dakota would have actually wished that he was a wise kid, a kid with a good head on his shoulders, a kid who knew what to do and what not to do; what was wrong and what was right. If he had known, he probably wouldn't have been walking around doing drugs, killing people, fucking around with random girls and all sorts of other things. He wouldn't have been involved with The Cobra's and would have never started a gang of his own.

Then again, if he hadn't done all of those things, and just been Mr. Mommy's Boy, his life would have been totally boring. The thought of getting good grades, having a good education and afterward getting a good job, didn't seem appealing to him. That was why he had dropped out of school.. He didn't care about grades, or school, or learning, or having a great job and then having a perfect family. The perfect life was boring, way boring.. Dakota was a person who liked excitement. He was impulsive, and bold, and he liked doing dangerous stuff. When you had the perfect life, you couldn't do any of what he wanted to do. You would have to behave, and stuff, or else your reputation would be ruined. Here, you got your reputation of how much drugs you had taken, how many people you have killed, and how many girls you have screwed. That kind of life was so much more interesting, in Dakota's opinion, and that was the life he wanted to live, and the life that he was living.

On a container, just beside one of the many ally ways in Rogue, Dakota was sitting, and talking to a good friend of his. A pretty cool dude, from the Viper gang. Dakota's gang, the Momba's, and the Vipers were allies, and many of their gang members were friends of Dakota's. They were good guys, almost as good as Dakota's guys. As he sat upon the container, the guy from the Vipers rambled about some girl he'd met. He kept rambling about how amazing she was, and so on and so on. At some point Dakota had just stopped listening, and when the buzzing sound in the background began to annoy him he cut into the words of the Viper; "Geeze, dude, how much longer can you keep talking about this girl?"

[/b] He asked. It wasn't wise to talk about your 'girlfriends' or 'crushes' when you were in a gang. You only dangered them if you talked about them. Therefore, Dakota kept his relationship with his girlfriend a secret.

He patted the guys shoulder, and flashed him a wicked smile "If you don't keep you mouth shut, she can get into trouble, you know? Nobody here shows mercy.. Not even me, and you should consider me your friend"[/b] The two guys spoke for a while, and then the Viper walked away and left Dakota to himself on the container. Being bored, he lighted a ciggie and looked around. Ahh, peace and quiet.

(tagged) open
(word count) 726
(lyrics) wicked game by H.I.M
(muse) decode by paramore
(sticky notes) ack, sucks T_T <3[/blockquote][/size]

[october sky roe]

we cut & paste the words
we can not bare to say

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It seemed nothing was fitting right anymore, her jeans seemed tighter by the moment and she found herself borrowing a few of the next size up from her sister, though they were still a bit loose. As for tops, well she found herself constantly debating whether or not it was wise to where her normal clothes. Sure she could always claimed she had gained a good amount of weight -it seemed like a few might believe it-, but if she wanted to hide her growing secret it wouldn't by her much more time. So for the sake of not wanting to be even more miserable for longer than necessary she opted for a looser fitting shirt, one which had no real shape and even some what flared below the chest line. She paired the outfit with a pair of dark blue flats, a sort of beret thing, neat looking butterfly wing earrings, and her locket then called it good. Passing by her full length mirror she stopped and grabbed a pillow from her bed, she place it under her shirt and examined herself in the mirror. So this is what I'll look like... the thought made her nauseous with anxiety and flinging the pillow back to her bed she ran down the short hall way to the bathe room. As it turned out morning sickness was actually all day, any random minute, even at a bad time sickness. Her stomach quickly emptied of it's contents before she headed to the sink for the normal routine of rinsing several times then brushing her teeth, again.

Her mother's voice spoke softly on the other side of the door asking if she was alright and October knew she had to fly the coop for the day. Sure there was school, but one day couldn't possibly make much of a difference, plus she didn't have to work till around ten or so that night. The closing shift was always her favorite cause she got paid for an hour and a half of doing nothing. Though it didn't do much for her social life, then again she never was one to care about such trivial things. Throwing on her glasses, grabbing her coat, scarf, cell phone, and wallet then headed down the stairs like she was off to school late. The car was, as always a pain in her ass to start as it had a tendency to stall several times at first. When she finally did get her mode of transportation going she had to stop herself from peeling out of her drive way. The destination was obvious, the heart of Rogue City, the place where truancy offices didn't dare go, the only place where the police chief's daughter would be immediately recognized. Of course it was dangerous, but what was adventure without a sense of danger? Nothing that's what. Tober parked a block away from where she was headed just to decrease the chances of the automobile being taken. Mainly because she didn't want to hunt down whoever took it because that would get her in trouble, not only with her family, but chances were that Dakota wouldn't be very happy about her risking her life either.

Hours just seemed to melt buy as Tober walked from small shop to small shop, wasting away the day, even after school would have ended she wondered, deeper and deeper into no man's land. She felt so alone, she would have called a friend but chances were they were in school or at work and she couldn't call Dakota because it wasn't like he could walk around with her hand in hand like she so badly wanted. That's the bad thing about secrets, half the time you just wanted so badly for them to be exposed so there was no more lying, no more hiding. It seemed that now a days she had too many secrets, secrets she didn't even tell Kota, which for her was unusual. The thought of her secrets caused her to sit upon an old gratified bench near the opening of one of the city's many ally ways. Unknowingly her hand rest itself palm down on her abdomen, directly on the small growing belly hidden beneath her coat and the shirt beneath it. The thought of crying filled her mind as water welled in her eyes. Tober was three months, two weeks, and one day into her "situation" and she had decided to keep whatever was developing inside her, but even the mere thought of way lay ahead of her fort the future scared the living hell out of her. Voices caught her ear, a conversation, but one voice seemed to stand out to her, though in that moment she couldn't place it.

Knocked out of her drowning mind she focused, a man left the ally and October edged closer to the beginning of the darkened path way. Before she could stop herself she questioned the shadows for the other voice that had caught her ears "Kota?..." the thought of the possibility of him being there thrilled her as much as it did frighten her in the light of her mood/thoughts just moments before the realization...


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words; 861.
lyrics; saco boys have no class by sparks the rescue.
clothes; click.
notes; none.

[/blockquote]

[risa]

WHAT A WICKED THING TO DO
(to let me dream of you)

As he sat there, upon the smelly garbage-container, another voice reached his ear, calling out his name - or nickname, it was. At first, he thought it was that same guy seeking more attention than he should be, and almost turned around to yell that he should just go fucking away, and that Dakota didn't want to hear about his girlfriend anymore. It made him feel slightly wrong, when he thought of the fact that he had a girlfriend himself who he didn't talk about all the time. He, personally, couldn't make himself talk about Tober at all.. Not because he was embarrassed by her, Tober was a beautiful girl and one of the most wonderful person in the world, if not the most, and he loved her. It was just, when you were leader of a gang, you'd want to keep your personal business a secret.. If anyone knew about Tober, they'd try and hurt her, because they knew that Dakota would be angered, if she was to die, or even just get hurt. However, the voice that reached his ears were soon recognized as a voice he knew all to well, and he felt his eyes widen; partly in horror, because what the hell was she doing down here? and partly in surprise, surprised and happy to hear her voice.

["Tober?"

[/color] He asked, jumping off of the container, and shifted his body to the direction of her voice. Her figure came into sight the moment he turned around, sitting on a bench, in the very beginning of the ally way. He blinked a few times, and then semi-ran over to check on her. Yeah well, now that she was here he might as well be with her. Why was she even here? Was there something wrong? There had to be something wrong for her to come all the way down here. As stupid, and reckless, as he found this, he couldn't bring himself to be angry with her as he reached the bench she sat upon. His facial expression was soft, though confused and worried. He was worried for her, seriously; why would she come down here?, she knew that it was dangerous. She could have gotten beaten up, or worse; raped.

Sitting down on the bench beside her, he brought his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. "What are you doing down here? You know that I don't like you wandering around," He muttered, stroking her arm with the back of his hand. For a gang leader, he sure was gentle around her. She was his weak spot, he loved her to bits and pieces.. She was the only person that could really make his knees buckle. He just couldn't seem to make himself be angry with her, at any time really. She, out of many few people, was one who did not get to see his 'cold-hearted, idiotic' side very often, he treated October with much care and love. "Please, October.. People down here won't be as nice to you as I am.. They're cold-hearted, they don't care about anything. If they got the chance, they would kill you.. In the best chase, you'll get raped and get out alive,"[/color] He looked down at her, lifting her head slightly upward, so he could look her in the eyes.

Her eyes were slightly red and blank, and it was obvious to Dakota that she had either been crying or had been about to cry. He stared at her in slight confusion, and then pulled her up to sit on his lap "Hey, babe, what's the matter?"[/color] He asked, stroking away a few of her blond locks, from her face. As he looked up at her, he cuddled her against his chest and awaited for an answer. Maybe she wouldn't answer, he would make her spill it though. She could trust him, she could tell him anything she'd like to, she could come to him with anything that bothered her "Did something happen? What happened?"[/color] He asked, letting his lips find the corner of her mouth. He wondered if she had gotten hurt, and let his eyes run down her body. She was pretty covered up, so he couldn't see anything, but her face looked fine enough. She didn't look like someone who had just been beaten up. So maybe she had a fight with her mother, or something alike, teenagers had a lot of that. "You can tell me,"[/color] He whispered, as he kept her pressed close to him.

(tagged) october
(word count) 750
(lyrics) wicked game by H.I.M
(muse) --
(sticky notes) yay <3 =][/blockquote][/size]

[october sky roe]

we cut & paste the words
we can not bare to say

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Okay so maybe in hind sight making her presence known to the even possible Kota wasn't the best idea considering she knew how he'd react, worried and mad. Though Dakota almost never got too upset with her Tober could always tell it tore him up a little on the inside. Excuses flooded her brain, she sifted through her brain for any answer other than the truth. He couldn't handle the truth, not yet anyways, okay really she couldn't handle the truth, in all honesty she was completely unsure if he could. No matter how close she got to him, no matter how much she thought she knew him he always found a way to prove her wrong, unintentionally (well sometimes). It was awful trying to come up with a lie to tell the one person you never lied to, the only hope she had was that Kota wouldn't hold all of the lying against her when she eventually told him the truth. Well if she ever did, at this point she was ready to just not tell him at all and hope he wouldn't notice and month or two down the line when she looked like she was smuggling a basket ball in her shirt.

However for now the inevitable was avoidable so it seemed lying would have to suffice for at least a little bit longer. So in true form of the past month and a half she talked around the truth trying to incorporate as much honesty as possible. "I know Kota, don't worry I know..." he was always so concerned for her which made lying to him so much more difficult. "I've lived in Rogue my whole life I know how to handle myself... b-besides i wanted to stop by a few of the shops down here before work later tonight, that's the reason I'm here. Plus I know where to go and where not to go so no worries love..." a half smile lighted her face for a moment as she tried to fake it so as not to alarm him. However judging by the way he moved hr hiar from her face and pulled her onto his lap she knew it wasn't working, the damage had been done.

Well the only choice was to deny, deny, deny, and then think up something else. The kiss to the corner of her mouth sent thrills up her spine, he always had that effect on her. October wanted nothing more then to just wrap her arms around him and kiss him back, but they were in public so such actions might not be entirely good. Besides he was waiting for an answer to his latest question, he was wondering what was wrong. Of course she couldn't tell him so she danced the fine line between truth and lies then hoped to hell he believed every word of it. "Nothing's wrong... I'm just... just" pregnant, stupid, scared the list continued in her head she quickly thought of an excuse, hoping Dakota wouldn't realize her hesitation. "I'm just tired is all, it's been a long day... lost of tests in school you know, just stress I guess... really I'm fine" telling him she had skipped school would have definitely sent a red flag waving in his mind. October hardly ever skipped school and he of all people knew that all too well.

Mustering up what composure she had stored Tober let a reassuring smile take hold of her face. Perhaps if being a doctor or photographer didn't work out she could take up acting? Though whether or not she was good at it remained to be seen. As her eyes dodged his to look over his features she found herself hoping that the baby would have his lips. The thought like most along those lines frightened her as much as it did intrigue her. On instinct she pressed her lips to his and then rested her head on his chest with a soft little laugh. It seemed that the scene she was currently in would probably be the closest she'd ever come to fulfilling a sort of fantasy of her's and oddly enough at that point it seemed to be enough for her...


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words; 702.
lyrics; saco boys have no class by sparks the rescue.
clothes; click.
notes; sorry if it's not the best my muse is sort of low...

[/blockquote]

[risa]

WHAT A WICKED THING TO DO
(to let me dream of you)

Shaking his head at her answer, he flashed her a quick, impish, smile. That wasn't the answer he had been looking for, at all. He had thought more along the way of 'Sorry, Kota, I'll for once do as you please and try and stay inside..' - But that was totally unlikely of Tober to say, and if she had said that then she wouldn't have been Tober. And Tober was the one Kota was in love with, not anyone else. However, he didn't like her answer. Most her answers never pleased him, because he was overprotective of her, however they never made him mad, because she told the truth. She wasn't one to lie, she was to innocent for that. She was crazy thinking that he wouldn't worry though.. He was her boyfriend, and he loved her; of course he would be worried! She obviously didn't know how much he cared for her.. Maybe he should remind her, later. "You tell me not to worry? Obviously, you have forgotten how much I actually care for you.. Perhaps I should remind you exactly how much later,"

[/color] His voice was almost a whisper, as he was afraid someone might be watching. He was a freaking paranoid kid. A smile was on his face, as he leaned in to place a kiss on her neck. He just couldn't seem to keep himself away from her, even though he screamed and battled against his cravings and desires mentally.. He had to stay away, because they could not be seen together.

Shaking his head, he sighed at her, and brought his arm around her shoulder "That's not an answer, Toby.."[/color] He muttered, looking down at her as he spoke; "I don't care if you've lived here your whole life, it doesn't change anything.. It doesn't change the fact that the lowlifes down here would kill you if they got the chance to.. We're all cold-hearted murderers.. You know that,"[/color] He said. He was feeling more and more like he was talking about himself.. Like, he was calling himself a lowlife. It was true though, he was a lowlife.. He was a killer, a druggie.. Anything bad you could come up with, Kota was that kind of person. He couldn't even remember how he had gotten involved in all of this, but that really didn't matter. All that mattered was that he was in it now, right? Screw the past and the future, they meant nothing. What had meaning to it was the present, and currently the present sucked pretty much. The only thing that made Kota keep on living was Tober. She was his only purpose of living. He stroked her chin, as the corners of his mouth curved into a crooked half-smile. "Just, please be careful.. I don't want to have to carry your corpse back to your mother one day.. Though I probably wouldn't have to.. 'Cuz I'd probably kill myself before.."[/color] He said, being totally and completely genuine. If she was to die, he would follow her by shooting himself.

Pulling away again, he had noticed her eyes and had pulled her unto his lap. Now she was nestled into his arms, which were wrapped securely around her. If someone happened to walk in on them now he would just have to improvise an excuse or something. It might hurt Octobers feelings, but he'd rather have her angry with him than have not have her at all - have her dead. She was silent, and it took her some time to answer his latest question. She was hesitant, and Kota sure wasn't stupid if that was what she thought. Naive yes, perhaps, but not stupid. He knew when she was lying to him, and he could clearly hear on her voice that she wasn't telling the truth. The mere fact that she was hesitant about her answer exposed her for her lying. The fact that she kept saying that she was fine also gave her out.. She wasn't fine, and he was going to figure out what was really wrong. The reassuring smile confused him slightly, though he stood his ground; he still thought she was lying to him, and he didn't understand why she would think she had to lie to him. Was it that bad?

Kissing her back, when she pressed her lips to his, he sighed and shook his head. He loosened his grip around her and cupped her face with his hands instead. Bringing her face up to his, he rested his forehead against hers "Babe.."[/color] He sighed, kissing her lips softly, before pulling away and wrapping his arms around her again "To be honest, I don't buy that story you just told me.."[/color] He muttered, looking sideways before looking at her "Somethings wrong, I can tell, and I don't really understand why you don't want me to know,"[/color] He said.. He didn't like that she was hiding things from him, but that was reality. "Is it that bad that it has to be hidden from me? Are you afraid of me?"[/color] He asked, his voice gentle.

(tagged) october
(word count) 847
(lyrics) wicked game by H.I.M
(muse) --
(sticky notes) no worries, mine aren't to good either ^^'[/blockquote][/size]

[october sky roe]

we cut & paste the words
we can not bare to say

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"I know exactly how much you care for me, but it doesn't stop me from thinking your silly..." October refrained from making any inappropriate comments in response to Kota's last remark, after all it wouldn't be very lady like and who knows who was listening. It didn't stop her mind from running wild a little bit. Then she recalled the fact of her so called 'baby bump' and panicked slightly, though no outward change claimed her. Maybe she could claim wait gain, but he wasn't stupid so the odds were fift-fifty for that to work. The same old speech ensued about how she could be killed by a cold-hearted bastard and how if she died he'd kill himself. Her lips found his yet again, she was taking all the risks today, "well for the record you should know that if I died I'd want you to keep living. It seems senseless to waste two lives". A sort of glowing smile crossed her face, he was so concerned and to her so sweet, "I'm always careful." she rethought the statement "well almost always" she joked looking him up and down quickly then shrugged. A devious grin came to claim her, he was her biggest risk and quite frankly she was glad she took the chance with him.

A dry chuckle was emitted at the question of severity "define bad.." the words escaped her lips before she realized it, but they were honest, as honest as she had spoken in weeks. For a few moments she thought through her prospective words carefully trying to decide what she really wanted to say. "I don't think it's necessarily bad. life changing yes, shocking definitely, bad.. well i suppose it depends on your perspective..." before she had a chance to blurt anymore Tober caught the words she hated to here ' "Are you afraid of me?" '. Disgust filled her, not for him but for what he thought. The disgust quickly turned to anger, fury, in that simple question Kota had made his greatest offense. Tober brought her hands to his chest and rested them there before inclining her head to his ear the simple words "don't flatter yourself" escaped through clenched teeth in a slightly hushed, thoroughly angry manner. Hands pushed him away gently and Tober stood shaking her head and heading down the side walk, arms crossed in front of her. Perhaps Kota had a hard tie being angry with her, but Tober at that moment had no problem being royal pissed off.

Self centered, irresistible jerk so maybe the irresistible part shouldn't have fit in there, but of course it did. Even when she wanted to be mad at him she found something that just made her love him even more amazingly. Tober turned and walked back to him "Why would you say that? What in the hell would ever make you say that?" she didn't care who heard, who was watching, or what might happen, there was no turning back. Besides she was too far gone at that moment, she had no control anymore and of course as always she felt a thrill from the feeling. She wanted to hit him, she wanted to just bang his head against the side walk until he finally realized that his words stung more than anything. More than anything she wanted to just break down and cry, it was like everything she had been through in the past month and a half, in the past year was all for nothing. Maybe she was over reacting, but to her it was a slap in the face. To her Dakota was looking a gift horse in the mouth for some reason it just made her furious, it made her for the first time doubt him.

An irritaed sigh escaped her and with that she took a seat beside him, this time her hands found his face "don't ever, ever, ever ask me that question." she looked him straight in the eye as she spoke, her anger melting with the intensity of them. What could she say, Tober was hooked on a little drug known as Dakota Landon Danvers.


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words; 689.
lyrics; saco boys have no class by sparks the rescue.
clothes; click.
notes; word count is low, sorry...

[/blockquote]

[risa]

WHAT A WICKED THING TO DO
(to let me dream of you)

He couldn't help a quick chuckle. She had no clue how much he cared for her, really she didn't.. He believed that he cared for here more then she cared for him. However, he knew she would disagree and therefore didn't say anything about it. "Silly, you say.."

[/color] He muttered, arching his eyebrow, as he looked at her. A smile was plastered on his narrow lips, as he shook his head, and brought his arms around her torso "I don't think I'm the one being silly here,"[/color] He then stated, sure that she would figure out what he was stating by that. Yes, he was not the the one being silly, she was. As he lips found his, once more, he smiled. Yeah, they were both kind of breaking the rules right now.. Neither of them could really seem to stay away from the other, Kota knew that he was having a very hard time.

He arched his eyebrow, looking at her as she spoke. "In Gods eyes, I'm not a life.. I've taken so many lives, he wouldn't mind me being killed"[/color] He said, partly joking and partly not; "So there's nothing to waste.. Wherever you go, sweetheart, I go."[/color] He said, and then shook her head as she stated that she was always careful - almost always. "Yes, almost.."[/color] He answered, leaning in to brush his lips over her throat "Couldn't be happier that you take a little risk into your life, even if I shouldn't.. Because, if you hadn't, you wouldn't be with me, and then I'd probably killed myself by now,"[/color] He smiled, continuing to brush his lips over her throat. He was breaking all of the rules, just as she was, but he did have an excuse if someone walked in on them. Everyone knew that Dakota took a liking to innocent girls.. So it wouldn't be a problem. Tober looked innocent enough, to be one of his toys. Of course though, ever since he had started dating October, he hadn't had a female 'toy'.. He stayed faithful to his girlfriend, as bizarre at that might sound. He really loved October, he hoped she knew that.

And then she confessed. Dakota leaned back, surprised, as he listened to her words. So she had been lying to him. Well that was irritating, but he guessed that it wasn't that big of a deal. She confused him slightly with her words, however, and he couldn't quite seem to understand what she was saying. So, what she was hiding from him wasn't necessarily bad, but life changing. What was it then? Had to be something big, he guessed. He was disappointed that she hadn't told him, but not mad.. No, he couldn't be mad at her, at least not for very long at a time. When he spoke, she seemed to get pissed of and, as much as it wasn't supposed to, it amused him. Nobody said that Dakota was fair, or nice.. He was a heartless bastard, he had always been like that. Things, that weren't supposed to amuse him, amused him and he didn't seem to have any control over it. However, he was very good a hiding his amusement. He was a good actor.

When she pushed him away, he sighed "Come on, Toby.. I didn't mean to offend you, I'm sorry,"[/color] He called out to her. She kept walking for a little bit, but then turned around and walked back to him. She was sometimes truly confusing, he didn't know what she wanted.. She was still angry though, she could see it in her eyes, and a wicked smile appeared on the corner of his mouth. If she wanted to, she could hit him all she wanted.. He wouldn't care much, he'd been beaten up to many times to actually care. She asked of him why he would say that kind of stuff, and he shrugged "Why would you hide things from me? That was what made me think that you were scared.. Not of me, but of my reaction.."[/color] He looked at her, as she sat down beside him. Well, it wouldn't be that surprising if she was afraid of his reaction "But, I guess that won't be surprising.. I guess I do tend to react pretty badly,"[/color] He continued, mostly just speaking to himself. It was his impulses, he acted on impulses rather then thinking, and that was what made his reactions slightly.. Aggressive? Because his impulses were aggressive.

When she cupped his face in her hands, and spoke, he couldn't help but flash her a quick smile. He knew he shouldn't, he just couldn't help it. He found her sexy, being mad and all.. It was kind of sick, if you thought of it, thinking that anger was sexy. "As you wish, I'll keep my from asking that kind of questions"[/color] He said, removing her hands from his face, as he leaned in to press his lips to hers. He was definitely breaking all of the rules. Deepening the kiss, he let his tongue explore her mouth and wrapped his arms tightly around her torso, bringing her closer. When he broke away, he let his lips brush over hers once before flashing her an impish grin; "You're sexy when you're angry,"[/color] He then muttered, knowing that it would probably offend her. He would take that chance, he was only expressing his own opinion.. If he thought she was sexy when she was angry, then let him think that. He brought his arms around her torso, and pulled her unto his lap again "Will you tell me now?"[/color] He asked, looking at her "I promise I'll be good.. Or at least I'll try to, I promise,"[/color] He rested his hand on his heart, and then brought it around her torso again.

(tagged) october
(word count) 965
(lyrics) wicked game by H.I.M
(muse) decode by paramore
(sticky notes) no worries, luv <3 =].. i loved you post x3 <3[/blockquote][/size]

[october sky roe]

Just a little more, c'mon lets terrify me
Just a little more and I'll be done with it
Take my life and then I'll feel okay

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All other comments that were made were put aside when he pulled her close, her heart raced with both lust and left over anger. It seemed impossible to stay mad at him, he was too cute with his highly contagious smile. October couldn't help but smile into his kiss, her arms finding their way around his neck as she felt his kiss deepen and his tongue explore her mouth. Her mind was slightly blurred for a second, the kiss had somewhat taken her off guard but she welcomed it none the less kissing him right back. As he sought to break away and his lips brushed hers Tober was tempted to keep him there, but resisted as her irritation quickly began to dissolve. Dakota's comment made her laugh a bit, "well then I guess I'll have to remember to get angry more often..." she spoke with a half smile. Sometimes he frustrated her to no end thanks to the fact that he was so infuriating and amazingly adorable at the same time, not just because of his looks. Tober had always thought of being around him as being bitter sweet, but so completely worth it. Unfortunately of course Kota had not forgotten about the secret she was keeping, and had been for a good while. He was so relentless sometimes, it wasn't the place wasn't the place to tell him, but it now seemed inevitable. It's not entirely your reaction I'm worried about, it's more of whether or not I actually have enough courage to... with out courage there was no way she was going to be able to do it at all. At that moment she was scared to flipin' death, she wouldn't be surprised if at that moment she looked like she had seen a ghost. Nausea threatened to take hold and somehow she knew that then was as good a time as any.

With slight hesitation October slid off of his lap she settled just be side him and took his hands in her's, lacing her fingers with his. "You really want to know?.." a quick, deep breath was taken followed by a pause, they hadn't ever really talked about it before, the whole kids thing, neither of them ever brought up the topic, maybe it was because it was so far from either of their minds. Tober was opening a can of worms and she didn't know what the results might be, but it seemed that what she thought she could continue to hide was due to be revealed. She had thought about telling him so many times, but it seemed she could never figure out quite what to say. Him being right there, no doubt waiting for her next words didn't help either, words stuck in her throat. October had never realized how hard it would actually be to tell him. Not to mention in public wasn't necessarily the best place to speak of it at all, however she had started it so she had to finish it some how. Eyes looked down for a moment as she struggled to rein herself in. You can do it Tober, you have to, there's no turning back now! she mustered up all the courage she could manage and looked up into his eyes once more. Hands tightened around his, "Kota? How do you feel about..." she paused, god why couldn't she just say it already! "Kota how do you feel about being a d-dad?" in that context the word 'dad' seemed so foreign it caused her to fumble over it and half stutter.

This it, he's going to leave... he's going to leave and never come back... her worst fears had been bottled away only to reemerge in her mind right then and there. October waited patiently for a response, a reaction, secretly waiting for her fears to be confirmed to the utmost extent. However Tober was determined to stay strong, I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to cry... maybe if she kept saying it to herself it wouldn't happen, but just in case she averted her gaze down. There was no way she could look him straight in the eye after that. In fact she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to do that again, she felt like she had just dropped the bomb on Hiroshima, but that's what he had wanted. Dakota wanted honest and quite frankly at that moment that was as honest as she could get...


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words; 743.
lyrics; it's just me by escape the fate.
clothes; click.
notes; thank you XD oh and muse/lyric change...

[/blockquote]

[risa]

WHAT A WICKED THING TO DO
(to let me dream of you)

He was happy that she had decided not to stay mad at him. He didn't like her being angry with him, he thought it was sexy but that didn't mean that he liked it. And he didn't.. Just as much as he disliked being mad at her. It was just something that had come naturally with liking her, the disliking of being angry with her and her being angry with him. Confusing? Perhaps, however it was true. The point simply was that he disliked her being angry with him, and much more preferred being in peace with her. Although he always liked a sexy Tober, he also liked a cute Tober. Sometimes they came together, mostly they came individually though. When she spoke, he chuckled. Ah, she really was a cutie "That would be great.. Don't think you'd get to much sleep though, so maybe you'd want to reconsider,"

[/color] He teased, winking at her. Naah, he wasn't that hard on her when they had sex.. Was he? Did he keep her up all night? He didn't believe he did, simply because he didn't believe that he'd have enough energy to keep going for a whole night. Now that he thought of it, they hadn't slept together in a while and he wondered why. He had no idea he would soon find out why.

They shifted to talk about Tober's secret. Looking at her, it was like watching a ghost. A vampire. She was as white as marble, if he hadn't known better he would have believed that she was dying. It didn't look like she breathing much, or maybe she was breathing to much? Furrowing his brow, he looked at her , he was just about to ask her if she was alright when she spoke, asking him if he really wanted to know. He thought it over for a second; if she was becoming a ghost, from the fear of telling him whatever she was about to tell him, then it had to be bad. Or not bad, as she had told him, but life changing - yeah, he believed that had been the words she had used. Life changing. The second of thinking passed, and he nodded "Yes, I want to know,"[/color] He said, totally sure of himself. Again, Kota was a great actor - those skills came along with the 'gang leader'-package. He wasn't to sure if he wanted to know, but he had to. This seemed serious, he felt like he needed to know this. A gut feeling.

She had settled down beside him, and he shifted slightly so that he faced her. She looked like she was going to literally puke. She looked horrible - She really looked like a ghost, she was just as white as one anyway. Slowly raising a hand, he ran it over her cheek, and then let it drop down on her lap. He let her gain courage to speak, understanding that this really took a lot of courage to say. And when she spoke, he finally understood why. As she spoke, he felt his whole body freeze to ice. Her words played over and over in his head, like a broken tape; 'Kota how do you feel about being a d-dad' - over and over and over and over. again and again and again and again. Dad? Father? Him? SHE'S PREGNANT YOU MORON! an inner voice screamed at him, and he blinked a few times, making him return to reality.

He guessed he probably looked like her now, like a ghost.. At least then she wouldn't feel alone, now they looked the same. "A.. A dad?"[/color] He asked, feeling his voice break. He couldn't imagine ever being called a dad. He could never imagine a kid running to him while screaming the words 'daddy, daddy!'. Never in his whole life would he think that he was going to a father. He, out of all the people in the world, was the least qualified person to father a child. Looking at Tober, his eyes flickered down on her stomach. He couldn't see a baby-bump.. Maybe she was joking? No, she wouldn't joke about something like this. Never, people didn't joke around concerning these kind of things. "You're pregnant?"[/color] He asked, his voice merely a whisper. She was carrying his bastard child.. Who would want that? Seriously? Nobody wanted to give birth to a killers child, right? Then why did he get the feeling that she wasn't going to abort this baby, that she was going to keep it? "My kid?"[/color] He asked. Of course it was his kid! Tober didn't cheat.

He rubbed his temples, taking it all in. She was seventeen. Was she sure she wanted to do this. He.. Didn't know what to do. But when he looked over at Tober again he understood. He'd do whatever she'd decide to do.. He guessed they could do this.. Somehow. He pitied the kid, for being born into such a filthy world.. This wasn't an environment to raise a baby. He pitied the kid for being his "How far are you?"[/color] He then asked, his throat feeling extremely dry. He didn't know what else to say. Letting his eyes wander down to the area if her abdomen, he bit his lower lip "Toby?.. Do you love this kid?"[/color] He then asked, as his final question. If she did then.. He wouldn't keep her from having it. If they were going to have this kid, then it needed her love and badly. He didn't know how to be a father, and he would make a terrible one, therefore it needed it's mother. He wanted to cuss, or something, but didn't dare do it in front of her - afraid that the kid would hear him. He was being ridiculous, the kid barely had fingernails yet. Besides, he had promised her to be good. He thought he was doing fairly good, at least not freaking out.. At least not in front of her, he had said nothing about freaking out mentally. And he was. He didn't know anything about fatherhood?!

(tagged) october
(word count) 750
(lyrics) wicked game by H.I.M
(muse) --
(sticky notes) nice, nice x3[/blockquote][/size]

[october sky roe]

Just a little more, c'mon lets terrify me
Just a little more and I'll be done with it
Take my life and then I'll feel okay

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A half-hearted sorrowful chuckle escaped her before she managed to talk "of course it's yours, do you really have any doubt in that Kota?" if he did then obviously his perception of her was distorted. There was only one guy for her and she had just dropped an atomic secret on him. On that would no doubt, despite best efforts make or break them both. Tober felt wetness stream down her face slowly, warm, and some how comforting, she swore she wouldn't do this, how the hell was she supposed to make it through this. The girl was strong, she had leather skin, and stubbornness to match, but was she strong enough, would she be, could she be? Raising a kid in Rogue, being a teenage mother, possibly being a single teenage mother, was she ready for that? No, but determination went along way didn't it. That notion was something she took comfort and hope from, knowing that no matter what she'd be there for her baby and try her best to make everything work. He asked the most basic of questions next and Tober raised her head to see how hard he was taking it. He's so pale.. the tears seemed to free flow from her face now just to spite her, she sniffed and rubbed a few tears from her face, she couldn't let him see her like this. With a quiet voice she responded plainly "I'm about three and a half months, I didn't know until I was two months along." it was common knowledge that when October is nervous or upset in general she had a tendency to talk too much.

As far as Tober was concerned thing inside of her was no more a bastard then any child born on any given day. Purity was in the eye of the beholder and that's just how things were, that was just her perspective. Tober caught the glimpse Kota took at her stomach and knew what he was thinking. She inhaled deeply then unbuttoned her coat and shrugged out of it revealing her teal tank top that flared to mask the stomach she hid. Gently her hand reached for Kota's and brought it to her abdomen resting it directly on top of the just starting to bulge that was simply not ceasing to grow. Honestly October had no clue why she was doing this, maybe it was out of hope that somehow it might seem more real to him if he at least felt what she had been hiding. She leaned back against the bench and used her free hand to wipe away the tears. "I suppose now is as good a time as any to introduce you to the secret, so far it has like finger prints and stuff encase you wanted to know. I don't know what it is yet, gender I mean. I wont find that out till the end of next week..." honestly she had no clue what to say so she just said the first thing that came to mind which pertained to the situation. His final question made her smile because for the first time she realized that indeed, without meaning to, without even knowing the thing she felt attached, as odd as that seemed to be to her.

Now came the hardest part, laying it all out on the table, the part that she was dreading almost as much as telling him. Tober took her hand from his that rested on her stomach giving him a clear choice to move it or not, her fingers lightly brushed his cheek and oddly enough she smiled, despite the fact that she still had tears rolling down her face. "Kota I'm not asking you for anything, you wanted to know so I told you. I'm keeping it, as scary as that seems, I'm keeping it, on that fact I've never been doubtful." her words were simple and light, amazingly it felt good just to know that the whole thing wasn't a secret anymore, at least not from him. "Listen Kota I'm not ready to be a mother, your not ready to be a father, we're both too young and too stupid to handle this, but it's not going to stop me from trying. The moment I found out about it the thing was instantly mine and nothing can change that for me, it just happened. Kota you don't have any strings attached if you don't want them... I would completely understand if you wanted nothing to do with it, I've already made my choice now you have yours and I'm not saying that to pressure you or anything I swear." so long as she made it completely sure that he was aware that he had a choice not an obligation October felt like things would be okay.

Her hand dropped from his face and she sat up a sigh escaping her, she was feeling nauseous again and at the same time strangely hungry. Maybe it was a side effect of throwing up her breakfast and only having a bagel the entire day. Not to mention her throat felt constricted, no doubt from the emotional strain, this was all too much for one day, but it had to have happened sometime. For once in a month and a half Tober felt like she wasn't alone in this, even if Kota wanted nothing to do with the baby or her for that matter at least she wasn't the only one handling this, at least not at that moment...


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words; 920.
lyrics; it's just me by escape the fate.
clothes; click.
notes;...

[/blockquote]

[risa]

WHAT A WICKED THING TO DO
(to let me dream of you)

He stared at her, shaking his head slowly as she asked him if he had any doubt, about the baby being his. No, of course he didn't have any doubts. He knew all to well that Tober would never even dream of cheating on him. "No, of course not,"

[/color] He answered. However, maybe it would have been best to have those doubts. Really, because.. What kind of a father would he make to his child? He was rough, he was cold-hearted, and he didn't know how to take care of an innocent little baby. He felt sorry for it, because somewhere maybe he wanted it. It was with Tober, so what was the problem? He was so scared though, he'd never been so scared in his whole life, and he was afraid to admit it. He never admitted fear, maybe that was why he was having such a hard time accepting this.. That he in fact was going to be a father, that Tober was in fact pregnant. And now the discovery that she was already three months along stepped out into the light. Three and a half, to be correct. He swallowed something.. He knew very little about pregnancy's, but what he knew was that after three months.. You were kind of stuck with a baby. He knew what that meant; She was having this baby.

Watching the tears run down her face, he felt himself suddenly wanting to cry. Not because of him being sad, or afraid, or whatever.. Simply because she was crying. Was he making her cry like this? Was it him? He would be absolutely ready to kill himself if it turned out to be his fault, that she was crying. She shouldn't cry for him, or because of him, he wasn't worth that at all, and she should know that by now. Reaching up to her face, he wiped away a couple of tears, which had found their way down her cheek. "Why didn't you tell me?"[/color] He asked, for once feeling very disappointed. Had she really been scared of telling him? That was just ridiculous. Or no, wait it wasn't. Actually he thought it was very normal.. He was a scary guy, what could he say? He knew, she'd probably been scared of his reaction.. He tended to overreact at times.

It was a bastard child, because it was his child. Who the hell would want a murderers child? He didn't know any. Well.. Anyone except for Tober that was. He could see it in her eyes; he could see the love she shared for the human being, which was growing inside of her. When she unbuttoned her coat, he furrowed his eyebrows - wondering what she was doing. It was rather chilly outside, and if she was pregnant then wasn't it a good idea to keep warm? He didn't know, he had no clue about anything concerning pregnancy's. Then, she reached out for his hand and pulled it to the little bump on her stomach. He felt his own heart skip a beat,, as she did that, and his breathing became rather ragged. However, he sort of got used to it, little by little, and soon enough added the other hand, so rest on the tiny bump. In there was a human being that he and Tober had created, together. It felt sickening in one way, and amazing in another.

He didn't take his eyes off of the baby bump, not when she spoke either. "Fingerprints?"[/color] He asked, finally shifting his eyes from the bump and to her. It had fingerprints? Really? Did that mean it had nails as well? "Does it have fingernails to?"[/color] He asked. It was a stupid question, totally random, however it seemed to mean a lot to Kota. Like.. If the baby had fingernails then.. Oh my god, it was real. Panic attacked him once more and he shifted his eyes down to her belly again, not wanting her to see the panic flickering in his eyes. "You have a doctors appointment next week?"[/color] He asked, looking at her. His eyes then narrowed. Wait a minute.. What had she done before this, concerning doctors appointments? Had she gone by herself? "Have you gone by yourself, to the doctor, the last month and a half?"[/color] He asked, concern in his voice.

When she shifted, and placed her hands on his cheeks, he turned to look at her once again. As much as he didn't want to, he pulled his own hands away from her stomach and placed them on her wet cheeks. Gently, as he wiped the tears away, he looked her in the eye and listened. She was speaking from her heart, and it was heartbreaking. It was heartbreaking that she thought he'd abandon her now.. How could he? Yes, Kota was an idiotic, self-centered, stuck up, bastard, every living soul knew that. But he wasn't that cold-hearted that he'd let his girlfriend, the love of his life, go through giving birth to his bastard child alone. "Do you seriously believe that I would abandon you, Tober?"[/color] He asked, wanting to suddenly burst into tears as well. he had learned to control his tears though, you had to if you were a part of a gang.. They hardly cried. About anything. "I'm going to be a horrible father, I was never designed to father a child.."[/color] He whispered.

When she dropped her hands down, and looked away, he forced her to look at him again, by turning her head toward him, gently. "But listen, I'm not done.."[/color] He spoke, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. "Yeah, true, I don't know how to be a father.. And true, I'm freaking out right now,"[/color] He smiled, a crooked slightly confused smile, and shook his head "Truth to be told, I'm not the best person in the world. I won't be a good role-model to my kid. I kill. And I've not been the best.. Boyfriend in the world, ever,"[/color] Looking at her, he had no clue where he was going with this "And truth to be told, I have no idea what I should tell you.."[/color] He brought her face close to his "Other then; I love you and I would never, ever, dream about abandoning you.. Or that baby.."[/color] He spoke. "As bastard a person as I am, I'm not that cold-hearted,"[/color] He kissed her, lightly, on the lips and then pulled slightly away, so that he could see her.

A soft smile appeared on the dark haired boys face, as his eyes turned down to her stomach. Looking up at her, he found himself leaning down to press his ear against it. Maybe he could hear it. However, all he could hear where the sounds of her stomach digesting food, and to be honest; maybe he got a little disappointed. However, he stayed there, with his head resting on her baby bump, as he spoke; "No more secrets, okay love?"[/color]

(tagged) october
(word count) 750
(lyrics) wicked game by H.I.M
(muse) --
(sticky notes) ^^[/blockquote][/size]

[october sky roe]

Just a little more, c'mon lets terrify me
Just a little more and I'll be done with it
Take my life and then I'll feel okay

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As Dakota wiped away the tears strolling down her cheeks October felt like she was ready to just shoot herself because of the simply fact that the one time she wanted control the most she couldn't have it. A somewhat deep breath was taken as she calmed herself to talk, "I didn't tell you because I didn't want to force you into this, I still don't. Hell I hadn't even decided what to do with it until I had my last ultra sound... I was planning on telling you after I told my parents and no I haven't done that yet.", she knew he was bound to ask that oh so very essential question at some point. It wasn't like she could bring him with her to do it and knowing him he would want to go as support. However it was pretty much known that the police department had it out for the gangs and a gang leader in the police chief's home wasn't a good idea. But try telling Kota no, she knew all too well that it wouldn't work which was why she was silently cursing herself for leaking that little bit of information. For a second she could envision her father and her boyfriend at each others throats ready to kill one another. Quite frankly she didn't want them to be in the same vicinity until she had reached her due date and in so much pain she could care less if they killed each other so long as they, by some magic made the baby come out faster and less painfully. Just thinking about the whole labor stage of the fiasco she was currently involved in made her want to vomit, she wasn't exactly the best with hospitals or severe pain, then again most were not.

When Kota's breathing became slightly ragged Tober stopped breathing for a few seconds just sort of waiting for him to say something like 'this is all too much I'm sorry Tober but this is your problem' and then just run away. Actually Tober was sort of hoping for it, not wanting to burden him with what felt like her problem. However as perusal Dakota Danvers found a way to surprise her and amaze her yet again, every time she thought she had him down pat he surprised her to no end. When both of his hands came to rest willingly on her stomach a wave of relief and nausea over came her. The question he asked was so small and seemed so... cute that she couldn't help but answer with slight, soft, laughter "I'm not sure about the whole finger nails thing, but I think so, my doctor said within the next month it'll start looking more and more like a regular baby and less like an alien everyday..." the whole process seemed to some how fascinate her as well as make her want to go jump off a bridge, an odd combo, but one none the less. October watched his eyes shift to her belly once more and somehow she felt self conscious, she felt sort of like a spectacle, an oddity, rather than an expecting teenage girl. Some how reluctantly she knew that it might be something she'd have to get used to, especially after she told her family.

The next question surprised her, surprised her greatly actually and somehow panicked her as she worried that he might be upset at the fact that she had gone to the hospital alone. It was something she hadn't thought of before, so much for thinking of everything right? "Yeah next Friday is my next appointment, the doctor said they might be able to see if it's a girl or boy then, provided it cooperates. I haven't really decided if I want to know yet though. If you haven't guessed I'm sort of taking this whole thing one moment at a time... and yes I have been going alone since I found out, it wasn't like I was going to not go and since I hadn't told anyone I had to go alone. If it helps my doctor said it looks and sounds healthy... and last time I got to hear the heart beat..." the nerves were starting to kick in and thus she had to stop herself from babbling on like the fool she often proved herself to be. Unknowingly, seemingly so naturally she rejoiced in the feel of his hand on her face, determined not to get distracted by his touch as she so often seemed to do. It seemed that he had misinterpreted her words, then again it was not a hard thing to do as at this point she was less than accurate with her wording.

Of course she wanted to interrupt him, but she bit her tongue letting him finish before correcting her former mistake. Though it was hard to concentrate after the words he had spoken, he was so sweet, why he loved her she would never know, she could never understand how he came to set his eyes on her. All she knew was that she was glad he did because the moment she laid eyes on him she knew he was trouble and she knew she liked that fact too much for her own good. Looking back on the past year or so she felt in the pit of her stomach that it was all worth it even with the baby resting somewhat peacefully in her womb. It seemed it was now her turn to say something, she wanted to choose her words carefully so she took her time "I never thought you'd abandon me, I just want to give you a choice, I don't want you to think you have to do this. Just because I'm having your kid doesn't mean your obligated to be involved in this. Of course I'd love it if you would it's not something I want to... i guess the best word is pressure you into." of course she wanted him, she wanted a father for her baby, but more than anything she wanted him. However in such a situation she felt like it was only fair to give him a choice, she had made one when she decided to go through with her new future so he should be free completely to make his own choice.

Never for a second could October ever believe that Dakota was cold-hearted or malicious, at least not if he didn't have to be. He only further proved her belief when he rested his head on her stomach to listen for the still somewhat silent baby. Though if he listened hard enough she hoped that somehow he'd be able to hear the heart. It sounded so loud on the ultra sound machine that it was baffling to her that it couldn't be heard constantly. "No more secrets." she agreed, in fact after this secret was out she was pretty sure she wouldn't want another secret for a while, if ever. October knew all too well that they'd both make horrible parents, but she could only hope that they'd learn, one thing she was sure that their baby would never be cheated on the love it's parents held for it. Not able to hel herself October her maneuvered herself to move his head from her stomach and place her lips on his, a soft smile crossing her lips as she did so, allowing all the love she felt to pour into the kiss she now gave him...


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

words; 1252.
lyrics; it's just me by escape the fate.
clothes; click.
notes; sorry for the long wait...

[/blockquote]

[risa]

WHAT A WICKED THING TO DO
(to let me dream of you)

He sighed as she spoke. Sure this was a rather sticky situation, one that he was sure neither of them really wanted to be in at this moment of their lives, but he would never want her to feel like she pressured him. She was his girlfriend, and he had gotten her into this mess by not being careful and taking on precautions - using a fucking condom from now on wouldn't hurt anybody, and he would support her no matter what, even if he didn't really want to do this. He was not pressured, just a little confused that was it. He didn't blame her for not telling her parents yet, or him for the matters sake, but she had to do it sometime. And he wanted to be there with her, though that would probably be impossible. Her dad was a cop.. A police officer, and they wouldn't get along to well; he could risk being arrested and then he wouldn't be able to be there when the baby was born. He could even be prevented from seeing the kid till it turned eighteen, and though this was a mistake he didn't want that to happen. The kid was his, he wanted to see it grow up. "You gotta tell them soon.. You won't be able to hide it much longer,"

[/color] Looking down at her stomach, he sighed and closed his eyes. What a mess "I would have been there with you.. But I don't think that's a good idea, unless you'd like someone dead.. Or me in jail."[/color] He bit his lips, it was a little tricky having a girlfriend who's dad was a cop. It was probably also tricky for her to have a boyfriend who was a criminal.

Her problem? Oh, no, no, no. This was their problem; he was part of the reason to why they were having this baby now. If he had just been careful. Bastard, sometimes he felt so stupid. When he asked about the fingernails, already enchanted by the things she had already told him about the baby, she laughed and furrow built on his brows. Was it that funny? He knew it was a stupid question, but he had to ask it because he had seemed to be dwelling on it, not believing that it had fingernails yet, as she had told him she was pregnant. Shifting his eyes to look at her, he bit his teeth down into his lower lip and a faint smile appeared on his lips "It has fingernails.."[/color] He muttered, nodding slightly. He didn't know why it seemed so important but the knowledge he had just been given, about the baby having fingernails already, made it seem more real to him - like, if it hadn't have fingernails then it wouldn't have been a real human yet, though it was. It was just Dakota being a total idiot as always. He was thinking in his own personal ways, very odd ways if you ask me. "Does it look like an alien now?"[/color] He asked, genuinely interested in the baby's development. "When is it going to look like a real baby?"[/color] He asked. She had said within the next month, but he wanted to know exactly when. Of course, that was a stupid thing to want to know from her; she wouldn't know. It was all up to the baby.

Surprise flickered over her eyes, as he asked her his question, but he pushed it away and focused on her answer. She had an appointment this Friday. That was great, he guessed. He just hoped she would let him come with her, because now, with him knowing about the baby, he wouldn't let her go alone. He already thought she was crazy enough going alone to her first appointment alone. Why would she do that? She gave an explanation to that as well, in her answer. "Couldn't you have taken a friend or something?"[/color] He asked, arching his left eyebrow. Sighing, he found himself staring at her stomach once more. Oh well, it couldn't be helped now. What's done was done, that was it. She told him that the baby was healthy, and he couldn't help but be happy for that. "What was it like?"[/color] He asked, concerning the heart beat. He seemed to be asking more questions then he had ever asked in his whole lifetime. He was genuinely interested though.. He wanted to know everything that happened with his kiddo, even if this wasn't planned and it was all a mistake. It was his, and he loved Tober. Why wouldn't he love this kid as well? It would take some time for him to get used to the fact that he was becoming a father.. But he was sure that once the kid was born he would fall instantly in love with him.. or her. It would be the most beautiful kid - it had a beautiful mother. He just hoped it wouldn't turn fucked up, as he had done.

A slight smile was on his lips, as she spoke of not wanting him to feel obligated to do this. He did feel slightly obligated to do this, because he had gotten her into this mess, but he wanted to do this none the less. "There's no pressure. We're taking this easily. I want to do this.. Might take me some time to get used to all of this, I never thought I'd father a kid.. Ever.."[/color] He looked at her, leaning closer into her "You have to be patient with me.. It'll be hard for me. Whatever happens though, don't let me back out from this. I want to do this, so whatever I say, don't let me back out. Promise me that,"[/color] He looked at her, his expression serious. He meant every word he said. He did want to do this, and he wanted for her to keep him with her. He knew he would chicken out, sometime, but he wanted her to keep pressuring him into doing this. He just hoped he wouldn't hurt her to badly meanwhile.

When she agreed to not having more secrets, he could feel a smile on his face. Great, now they were on the same page. When she pulled his head to her, he didn't reject her and returned the kiss, his arms wrapping around her torso. He broke away, shortly, to say three meaningful word to her, words that came from the very core of his heart and filled it with joy he had never felt before; "I love you, Toby.."[/color] He muttered "And i'll learn to love that baby in there as well, just give me time,"[/color] He said, crushing his lips down to hers again. He couldn't help himself. And then a thought shot through his mind. What about sex? - yes, he knew it was such a guy thing to think, but he was a guy wasn't he? Breaking away once again, he looked at Toby. Could they still have sex, or was that against the rules? Could it hurt the baby? "Are we still allowed to have sex? Or is that going to hurt the baby?"[/color] He asked. He was just a person who couldn't live without sex.. He was a very sexual person, and had been it ever since he lost his virginity. God.

(tagged) october
(word count)
(lyrics) wicked game by H.I.M
(muse) --
(sticky notes) no worries, sorry for the crappy post <33[/blockquote][/size]